|Villains hate powerful software and it's |
easy to see why. Powerful software
aids humans in their work!
by Marci Crane
Localization Manager, MasterControl
Villains, like their heroic counterparts, have interesting and complex pasts. Their complexity can be strange at times and is often hard to comprehend. After all, they generally want to kill pretty much every living creature and that can be somewhat uncomfortable for “normal” humans to process. However, taking a look at a villain’s back story and his recurring behavior can help average human beings understand why villains are constantly trying to destroy love, joy, beauty and oh yes, that professional software you’re about to purchase.
Villains HATE Powerful Software
The utter and final truth about villains is that they hate software. Software empowers normal humans to do things faster, more effectively and without error, which makes villains seem not quite as intimidating as they would like to be perceived.
Each of the seven villains mentioned in this article hate every kind of powerful business-changing software. There may be one kind of software that each villain happens to hate the most, which is something you will see as you read this article. Take care to note the software solution(s) that you are planning to implement in your own business and which villain may come calling at your door!
THE JOKER: Document Control Software
If you know the origins of DC Comic villains then you’re probably aware that one of the Joker’s greatest powers is his lack of a known origin! The mystery and confusion surrounding this villain’s path to evil and mayhem makes him even more sinister in the minds of those who are constantly searching for reason and understanding.
Due to his apparent lack of origin, the Joker seems to understand the power of keeping information hidden and therefore doesn’t want anyone else to have that power. Since document control software offers companies the ability to show information to the right people at the right time while still keeping essential information hidden from others, it’s pretty easy to see why the Joker doesn’t want anyone getting their hands on (let alone implementing) document control software. After all, if regular humans can keep important information hidden then the Joker starts to seem less impressive than ever. Don’t be surprised if after you’ve implemented a new document control software solution you hear an evil and completely insane laugh emerging from the shadows!
DARKSEID: CAPA Software
If you’ve ever caught a glimpse of this dark cloud of a villain you know how imposing he can be. The leader of the dark and foreboding planet Apokolips, Darkseid, a villain more powerful than Superman himself, has only one simple goal: conquering the universe and destroying all free will. No big deal, right?
Darkseid, looking somewhat like an athletic heap of rocks, is out to destroy everyone, and unlike the Joker he’s not having a good time while doing it. He has very little patience for any being other than himself and absolutely no qualms with destroying everything necessary to achieve his dark and ominous goals. Why wouldn’t Darkseid want humans to enable CAPA software? The answer is easy. With CAPA software humans take matters into their own hands and exert their free will by creating processes and solutions that correct and prevent error. CAPA, in essence, is a creative endeavor and allows humans to continuously improve their processes. Darkseid can’t stand the thought of continuous improvement or a human’s ability to exert her or his free will. It makes Darkseid want to quickly destroy all CAPA software in one swift Darkseid blow. Implement a CAPA software solution and it’s more than likely you’ll have a visit from Darkseid who may, during the visit, knock a few of your office walls down.
DR. DOOM: Training Software
Dr. Doom is a human but certainly not an ordinary one. Growing up in a gypsy village in Europe with a mother well versed in witchcraft and magic, the young Victor Von Doom experienced his fair share of injustice, loneliness and outright ostracization from his own people. Turning to science, magic and intense study to relieve his pain, the young Victor began to educate himself and soon invented technology far more powerful than any mechanisms created during his time.
Scientists from the United States heard of the young Victor and came to offer him a job for the U.S. military. To escape his difficult life in the gypsy village and many painful childhood memories (including the deaths of his mother and father), Victor was glad to take the position. However, Victor utilized the fruits of his immense intelligence for his own evil use (i.e., destroying all Americans) and only created technology that would be enough to impress the military and keep his position but not powerful enough for the military to do much damage. So why wouldn’t Dr. Doom want people across the globe to implement training software? Dr. Doom’s power lies not in laser beams or supernatural powers but in an immense amount of intelligence and creativity. If others are trained in new ideas, processes, concepts or standard operating procedures, Dr. Doom’s intelligence and technology would certainly be threatened. Implement training software at your own risk – you may find that Dr. Doom will be lurking in your break room during snack time.
MAGNETO: BOM Software
Magneto is a longtime villain of X-Men fame, and though a mutant with the incredible powers of controlling and moving metals, had his own difficulties growing up. While living in Germany during Nazi control in the late ‘30s and early ‘40s, Magnus, then a young boy, witnessed the brutal murder of his parents and was subsequently taken to Auschwitz, the most dreaded of concentration camps. After escaping, Magnus eventually met Charles Xavier in Israel in a hospital created to help survivors of the Holocaust recover. Though Charles and Magnus agreed on many things, they did not agree on what eventually led to their separation -- the fate of humans. Magnus, now better known as Magneto, was not opposed to using violence in his interactions with humans and did so several times, leading him to become the menacing villain that people know today.
Why would Magneto feel threatened if we humans were to integrate BOM software with our manufacturing solutions? The answer is simple. BOM software allows people to more effectively manage and control the speedy manufacture of materials. And though Magneto can already control many of these same materials, he doesn’t need people building more innovative items at faster rates. It simply wouldn’t suit his tastes. So be aware that if you implement BOM software anytime soon, Magneto may be waiting for you and all of your colleagues at your next staff party.
LOKI: Quality Management Software
Loki, the villain, is extra dark and uber-powerful because he’s a villainous god and frankly, villainous gods are the worst. Not only does Loki have almost every power imaginable to mankind but he also happens to be very good at what he does, and what he does is always bad. Whether he is using telekinesis or just simply destroying multiple cities at a time with his ever-enduring self, Loki is on the hunt to do evil. With a chip on his shoulder that has a lot to do with resentment against the god who raised him and against his “goody two-shoes” brother Thor, Loki won’t be turning good anytime soon.
So why wouldn’t Loki be upset if the human race decided to invest in and implement quality management software? The truth is that quality management software can help to integrate entire processes. When quality management software is working correctly, every aspect of a business is better. Basically, quality management is about improvement and Loki is happy having humans far beneath his big godlike ego and not allowing them to improve at all. If you plan on implementing quality management software in the near future you may have quite a fight on your hands as Loki will more than likely turn up in your next implementation status meeting and will certainly not adhere to the agenda.
THANOS: Document Management Software
Thanos (pronounced THA * NOOs) isn’t a human and he is not a god. Thanos is a mutant (or derivative) member of the race of superhumans called The Eternals. Besides having every gift and power bestowed on him thanks to his relation to The Eternals, Thanos also surpasses them with his improved genetics. For example, Thanos is gifted with powers of telekinesis, the ability to manipulate matter of all kinds, and telepathy. Much like Darkseid, Thanos looks incredibly large and rocklike which frankly, is rather scary.
So why would a being as powerful and frightening as Thanos be concerned if the human race were to implement document management software in all of its business endeavors? The truth is that Thanos would be incredibly alarmed at the very idea. Document managementsoftware would allow the human race to retrieve, view, route and manage vast amounts of documentation and information and even with his telepathic powers, Thanos couldn’t focus on all of the zillions of pieces of information that are controlled with a document management system. It would be a bit of a coup for businesses everywhere and not a pleasant outcome for Thanos. If you plan on implementing document management software now or in the future please be advised that Thanos may show up at your next training session, or if he is in a truly bad mood, may kidnap your vice president of human resources.
GREEN GOBLIN: Complaints Management Software
Norman Osbourne, an industrialist and weapons manufacturer, is Harry Osbourne’s father. Harry is Peter Parker’s best friend (Peter Parker is, of course, Spider-Man). As fans of Spider-Man know, Norman Osbourne is better known as the vicious Green Goblin who rides around on a batlike glider. With a special serum, Green Goblin also increases and sharpens his intellect, physical abilities and healing factor. However, the serum also produces unfortunate side effects including hallucinations and tendencies toward insanity.
Why would the Green Goblin be anxious and almost insanely driven to stop any business from implementing complaints management software? Complaints management software allows companies to hear directly from their customers the truth about every single one of their products and also provides the opportunity to respond immediately to defects. The Green Goblin thrives on the weakness and confusion of human beings as it affords him a great deal of power. Complaints management softwaregreatly reduces the weakness and confusion of human beings, allowing clear communication and quick, practical response.
If you plan on implementing complaints management software don’t be surprised if a batlike glider comes crashing through your office window!
MasterControl: Quality Defender
MasterControl, a name that seems to conjure one of the greatest super heroes of all time, is here to defend you and your business against the greatest software villains and foes!
MasterControl provides document control software, CAPA software, training software, BOM software, quality management software, document management software and complaints management software, as well as quality consulting services for your business’s quality, regulatory and document control needs.
Evil villains, beware!
Marci Crane is MasterControl’s localization manager and a marketing communications specialist. Marci would enjoy playing the heroine or the villain from time to time but most often enjoys being a regular human and doing things like eating, dancing and Pilates.